HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

7:30 am, How To Save A Life by the Fray is on the radio.

I am on my cyclon all sweated still with my bandages all over my face. House is tranquil. All my familly is asleep.

It's my birthday!..

I have never had an exciting birthday. At least, people remember just because it's easy to remember. So, I don't really know how to spend an exciting birthday. I don't even eat cakes. So, it's better.

Everyday at about 5:45am. I habitually open up my eyes. I can't help it. Then I start eating at about 6 just because I am starving at this hour. Then I clean up my messes start cycloning just because I cannot walk outside. I'm burning up my calories. At about 8, I turn on my computer everyday to check a bit of loves from my friends. I need an attention. That's definate. I wouldn't even deny if there is a fake email friend who can send me an email every single day to make my day.

I read news, check emails, blogs, then turn the radio on. I start stretching checking up the status of my body shape. After that, I start to work on my report. I study. I read books. Then it's about 12 almost a day is over. Because I don't eat dinner, lunch must be a big feast for me. It doesn't change on special days. It's my day routine. boring and painful. But I'm just getting ready for next minuites.

then I pretend that I had the most exciting days. People like to listen to my fake days. To entertain people, I watch lots of movies and read fictions. Yes, I am a total lier.

But the thing is that I neither want to loose my friends nor want to die in an instant without acheiving anything. I am too greedy to give up any of this.

In my veranda, there was a plant that never had a flower for 3years. I gave up of course. Few days ago, I saw the prettiest violet flower I've never seen in my life. Possibillity. I cannot see it right now. But maybe someday, if I get ready, it will blossom. if I don't give up and keep trying hard.. That's why I am keeping my boring routines although I hate it. I hope my mother can notice this and encourages me a little.

I am yet a larva whose getting ready to fly as a butterfly. Be patient. happy birthday.

J.