Once I go to the theater, I didn't want to go home when it's finished. I did not like the feelings of came-back-reality. But now, as if the unreality turned out to be the reality, I cannot feel the existence of the present if I ever stop watching movies. Every time I watch movies, or read books thesedays I repent deeply that I have ever denied them on purpose. There's no better meditation than them when I get lost.
My life is perfect now. I have someone in mind as I have wished always. I value that I am a ctually loving someone with my heart. I have a familly who is praying for me everyday. They concern me but trust me. It is perfect. Familly is supposed to have trust in each other and watch over each other. More or less than that is never perfect. Friends? They will understand me if they were ever meant to be true friends. Just like a moonlight boy said, I am meaningful. He still understands me and be with me.
I am here as a stranger. I meet strangers every day and sparkle my eyes to them. I even sparkled my eyes when I was feeling embarrassed because they all laughed at me after the fell-off running the track watching sky and feeling spring breezes insanely. I become a stranger to the other stranger. We become a friend with just a light greeting of hello. I am learning a lot from them. I keep looking for something. I feel satisfied every time I find out something. I don't worry about money. I survive very well like a cockcroach in this coarse environment. No, I am rather living luxuriously. In the morning, birds sings. Wind stroke my cheek gently. Sunshine surrounds me. It is perfect.
Becoming a stranger... This is one of the happiest moment for me. This is the moment when I reborn. This is the moment when I realize that the reality that I was running away from was just a part of the unreality. It is perfect. I do not have to get all tensed in front of known people that I am scared of. Now, I can boldly lead my life by myself.
It is perfect.
