If you fear something, it means you have things you don't want to loose. I do not remember where this line came from but it stroked my head this morning. The reason I brought out a deep and dark word “Fear” from the start is simple; TO HAVE NO FEAR.
As I grow up, I realized that I was getting bold. I don’t get scared of fright, height, dark, or bugs anymore. I rather enjoy those things. I love Ghosts or Vampires. I love going to the roof. I like doing dangerous things. However, I fear different things now such as people.
I mentioned before about ragged jeans. It was like a panic disorder when this feeling has come. I could not breathe. I could not raise my head. I could not speak. I just had to go one place I can release myself. And this happened often recently. That is why I had to deeply think of a word “Fear”
When there is nothing to loose, I guess I will finally get rid of my fear. But now, it’s still there and guarding in my door. This morning, when I had a feeling of anger for someone I also felt the same. This guard never lets new comers in. If it does let new comers in, it shows the fake world of me. Not the real one.
I have realized that I want to settle down now. I cannot live with fear anymore. He’s too solid. He rather bugs me too much. So, this is what I want to do tonight; TO FACE WITH FEAR.
I cannot fly without doing this…
J.
